Parisians are officially the most humourous criminals non?

Word is, the hunt is on in Paris for armed robbers - SOME DRESSED IN DRAG – who relieved Harry Winston jewellers of some €80 million-worth of diamonds, precious stones and other sparkly goodness. That makes it the biggest jewellery-heist-carried-out-by-gender-ambiguous-criminals France has ever seen. They good as emptied the shop.

So there are wanted men, in drag, with guns, covered in an appalling amount of bling, in Paris - capital of elegance and style. They will surely be banged up before tea time won’t they?

It reminded me of that story about the illegal restoration of an antique clock housed in the Panthéon. Remember that?

I went and found the website of the group responsible - ‘The Untergunther’. They proclaim themselves to be “a clandestine group with a mission to restore the neglected heritage in Paris”. Fabulous. It makes me really badly want to be a member of a clandestine group. Perhaps our mission could be to hold guerrilla roller discos across the UK or something.

Anyway. Basically, these Untergunther geniuses, in a time-honoured fashion, got themselves locked into the Panthéon one night and set about sorting out a secret workshop in the Panthéon’s dome (furnished, and with views over Paris, naturally).

They spent a year piecing apart and repairing a clock that had been sat rusting since the 1960s. When finished they decided to tell the folks at the Panthéon, primarily so they would know to wind the clock up.

So the officials took legal action and tried to have the cultural crims prosecuted. But of course all stories that involve getting locked in museums overnight have happy endings and the judge ruled in favour of the Untergunther.

Their website is here, some really amazing photos of the clock, the workshop and the hugely desirable seating is here. Get some Wiki action with more details of the sorts of thrilling things the French get up to underground here.

Probably those gun-totting diamond thieves in dresses don’t have a website. Maybe they’re on facebook though.

Conference chic

Huzzah! I am recently returned from a Brain Research conference in Washington U.S.A. (hence the Americanised header). If forced at gunpoint (admittedly unlikely) I would have to say that fannying around chatting about sciencey things with exotic people all over the globe is possibly my favourite thing about research.

I have proof I have been in the U.S. - See Fig. 1 which depicts a pedestrian crossing. Note the helpful and considerate count-down informing people exactly how long they have left to dither about in the middle of the road (taking pictures and whatnot).

Fig. 1 Crossing the road Washington style

Here in the U.K. it is conventional for drivers to signal to pedestrians that their road-crossing time frame is coming to an end by revving their engines and creeping slowly forward. It's not as precise but it seems to work ok.

As you can imagine, much of the discussion at the conference was given over to this year's trends in conference fashion. While trying to figure out if I could subsist entirely on free conference pastries and cakes for the rest of my stay (apparently there's some sort of economic problem happening at the moment and my credit card was shivering at the prospect of check-out), I was interrupted by an enthusiastic Italian epigeneticist (don't ask) who wanted desperately to impress upon me that a) she owned the same dress as the one I was wearing and b)I look almost as fabulous in it as she does.

She told me I should come to an epigenetics meeting in Lille. But I don't know anything about epigenetics. It makes my head hurt. So? Lille is beautiful and the food is amazing.

Is this what they call networking? If so I love it. She cooed some more about the other dress I'd worn the previous day and I decided that I totally rock at networking.

I'd also like to give a special mention to the conference bags which, at every other conference I've ever been to, have always looked like this or a variation thereof...



Not at this, the best-dressed conference of 2008. Oh no. Behold eco-friendly and bang on trend, the Nexus conference bag made from jute canvas, complete with a clasp made from finest coconut shell. Biodegradable and sustainable. Round of applause please...